Period Costumes

In addition to reflecting a historical period we portray in our dances, each dress reflects on the period of one's own life when we created the dress.

Victoria does a wonderful job of creating dresses to fit the person. Last year, early on, I had the idea of making a RagTime dress out of a sari. But when I met with her, I mentioned other ideas, not even mentioning that idea. She just responded with something to the effect of this other pattern would look great made from a sari. And that was exactly the idea and pattern I had been thinking of, but was not bold enough to state. Telepathy? A sixth sense?

This year, again early on, I had a concept of what I wanted, but not a good picture. How to weave a chi pao image into a 1930s evening gown. She drew a design that actually incorporated the elements I had been trying to put together, but couldn't picture by myself. One afternoon, I met her at Thai Silks to look at fabric. We tried to match fabric to the brocades that I had selected. After I saw her experiment with a different brocade, another brocade with that pattern in a different color caught my eye. She said that this was the one she had actually had in mind first when I told her my idea. A change from dragons or dragonflies. "Mint green" with lavender swans.

Chi pao

Quotes from a no longer existent Web page: Japanese Variations on a Chinese Theme

Worn by movie stars and fashionistas, qipao has been adopted as a symbol of Chinese identity in the world of international fashion and no other style of dress is as versatile or possesses such a fascinating history.

'Qipao can display the modesty, softness, beauty and temperament of Chinese women,' says Mayumi, speaking fluent Chinese, at her rented French-style villa near Huaihai Road M. which is also her working studio. 'Any woman wearing a qipao has no other choice but to show off a graceful and refined manner because they have to hold in their stomach and keep their back and neck straight. You can't slouch in a qipao. It forces you to be graceful.'

"The qipao evolved from a loose, long robe worn by Manchu women in the late Qing Dynasty (1644-1911) into the fashionable dresses worn by stylish women in 1930s Shanghai."

Late Night

The meeting didn't go as late as I had been prepared for. Guess I'll write in my blog while my hair dries.

Was sort of late to auditions. It's been a while since something makes me drop what I'm doing to respond to semi-emergencies.

Maybe serious health problems can make one appreciate life more. The hope would be that something like this turns out to be a gift of a new lease on life. I watched my friend's husband's creative film about suicide about three times last year. The fact that suicide has taken most all of the most gifted women writers has at times been worrisome.

Okay, can't stay up any longer.

Indian Summer

Tomorrow is the full moon. I went for a moonlit walk. It was a warm night. Went down to the little pier at the complex, sat on the bench looking at the stars. The more you look, the more stars you can see. The lagoon was perfectly serene, a mirror of night. Everything glowing in moonlight. The airplanes flying down to SFO. Middle eastern music across the lagoon. Lights on in people's homes. Indian summer bidding farewell.

Went home earlier. The first time going to my room seems like going back to a child's room.

I used to take midnight moonlight walks at Stanford. Somehow the sky glowed a lovely purple over there.

Took a walk before the sunset too. Sunset at home.

Turning

before the ceremony
ceremony

I came across these pictures of a wedding in Shanghai of my former neighbor in Kimball. The images are a juxtaposition of past and future in the present. The guys that used to run around the hallway making a lot of noise are all grown up. Fond memories of always seeing people hanging out or working in the hallway at 4am outside my door... of the "Asian Christians" dropping by to try to recruit me... I even went one time, but probably argued too much about why I believed in all religions during the walk to and from the sermon thing, and couldn't understand how people could only see one Truth. Contrast these goofy memories to these images. My mom once said that a wedding day is filled with so much hope for the future. What does the future hold, when the American-born children of immigrants are settling indefinitely in China?

All civilizations rise and fall... and maybe rise and fall again. Hm, what does the future hold. Remembering sitting around in the tea shop with a friend contemplating that the Bush era could be the turning point for the U.S. Of course, people think that is a ridiculous sentiment. Which makes me think it is even more likely. :P There's that drawing of a timeline of history with the relative power of civilizations, China and India being the earliest major powers. And now the two are both rising again.

A time to dance, a time to mourn

Ooh, Jammix this weekend. I've caught the dance bug again. Waltzing is a happy dance. Peaceful, love. Turning like the earth. Only a lot faster. ;)

Interesting conversation at lunch. My coworker somewhat randomly suggests I should go work in Shanghai or Beijing for six months or a year. Actually have contemplated this for quite a while, and probably the reason I haven't is finding how to get this opportunity. Would be nice to bring my friends with me too.

Even a few years ago, people couldn't see the world would turn like this. Our parents came to the U.S. as students and young adults. Actually thinking to return home. Life happens. Maybe only after your own children have grown into adults in this country do you really then know this place as home. And even for some of us children, only after twenty years of growing up in the country, different, and "returning" to our parents' country, then I realized I am American, and my culture is American. Maybe not like white people, but still American. Something new and different from these roots.

I've had slight envy of my friends and classmates who are living and working in China. I imagined this years ago. We didn't know that it would turn out that our parents' generation came here, and our generation would go there. At this point, we can't imagine that those in our generation will stay there, but perhaps our parents hadn't imagined this life either. I, however, imagine too much. :)

All the possible paths life can take, there is only one to look back on. The rest continue on in dreams.

Na-er

The Pimsleur Mandarin CDs are not bad. One main advantage is saving driving time to classes that never fit in my schedule anyway. And I can go at my own speed. And all the repetition hopefully improves my pronunciation. But if I copy everything they say, I'll learn a Beijing accent. I should get the Cantonese one for my friend so she can learn to speak with her "mother-in-law". (And then I can borrow them too. :P )

So not all hope is lost... for my Chinese. But at this age, wonder if my pronunciation and ability to think in Chinese can still be learned. And all the meanings that can't be translated. Picking up where my Chinese stopped at the age of 7.

Tell myself go to sleep.

Soul

My roommate had the Soul of the Tango playing as we drove to and from auditions. I started to think more about illusions, why the instructor last year kept repeating that it's an illusion, it's an illusion. Listening to the music, on the surface, the melody seems to be moving fast, with a lot of embellishments. But listening, I was hearing the slower movement, stillness, actually silence.

Silence when there is sound. Silent music.

Last year I learned that the movements are like this, still, calm, centered. On the surface, people can focus on the embellishments and flash. Listening to the music while not dancing, I could then see it in the music.

The music has such a deep sorrow, although sometimes sounding very lively. It seems that two people could be dancing so close together, yet possibly be so alone.

Sorrow, yet beautiful. And does beauty bring happiness.

Yo-Yo Ma on the cello fits this as the sound of his cello is distinct. He plays emotions, not just music.

Seeing people dance empty tango is somewhat disturbing.

Hm, a nonsensical blog entry because of staying up too late for post-auditions meeting?

Follow

I went back to Friday Night Waltz tonight for the first time since about a half year ago. I intended to get back into following mode, to relate the dancing experience to harmonious relationships in the rest of life. If life were like dancing, it would be bliss.

Joining a performing group has at times corrupted my previously pure following state. Backleading and self-dancing creeps in during choreographies. The only way to experience the true freedom of following is to go out social dancing and not know what to expect. "Welcome chance intrusions."

There were several very good dances. My favorite of the night was a sway-ey waltz. When you trust the lead, the dancing becomes much more free and flowing. The level of trust varies by person, and also can vary through a single dance. As a follow, when you are able to listen with your whole mind and body, you can follow anything and be perfectly balanced with your partner.

I managed to "almost" enjoy dancing with the guy that everybody hated dancing with. "Trust" was not so much the important factor in this setting as "self-preservation." My ability to protect my fingers and wrists from being broken off, and keep myself from falling face to the floor, from dangerous leads, allowed me to follow the lead, and make a somewhat enjoyable dance. And then one would be able to see the unique good things this dancer has to offer. However, a good lead would be aware of and care about how his partner feels, and lead accordingly.

To be able to follow anything and anyone, and make it an enjoyable dance, is a fun challenge and experience. Although it's much more enjoyable to dance with those you really trust....

Afterwards, I went along with some Stanford dancey people to the CheeseCake Factory. They are going to be half my age soon. I did manage to recruit some people to audition.

It's probably not a coincidence that it is in the dancing community where I see the best matched couples who are partners in life. So far my dance life and social life are separate. Maybe I like it this way. Dancing is a metaphor for life, but if dancing were my life, I'd be missing out on a lot. Make life a dance.

Creativity

I've been needing a Web-based version of office software utilities for a while now. It's due time that something like this came out. I've been using GMail drafts for this purpose, because it's fast enough, and I can access and edit from anywhere.

Seems like I've been using new Google products for other than the main intended purposes, because they enable these new possibilities as well.

May not want all information to be stored on some company's servers, so someday soon I'll need to have something like this running on my own server.

I stopped using Microsoft Word a while ago in favor of OpenOffice, because all the extra features actually make it impossible to do anything normal without spending eons tweaking configuration options to stop doing silly things. Also, because Web pages are more useful that regular documents, and OpenOffice has an HTML editor I like better.

Google is good at finding ways to make money for it's innovative products. As the article I posted recently talked about, this is one of the three key ingredients to success. Visionary products should make money. Java should make money.

Wikis are exploding. I'd better play more with it. Even I was skeptical at first when the Wiki dudes gave a talk at Stanford way back in 2000, but mostly because the name was quacky, and made me think of the ugly kiwi birds. :P

To see what is coming is truly exciting. If 2005 is like 1995...

Some people can see 1 year down the road (some less), some people 5, some 10, 20, 100 years. It seems that to create something innovative requires seeing at least 10 years into the future.

Note to Self :)

Remind self to go take a look at the skirt and top I saw in the window, on the way to and from the restaurant during lunch today. Forgot after work. The restaurant had nice outdoor cafe seating, almost like Europe, with a bit of imagination.

...

I almost never repeat the same mistakes twice.

Return to Sketchiness

as opposed to "Return to Innocence"...

The line to get into the new Sketchies bar on campus went halfway down the street, there were so many people. We waited for a whole hour! Just for a coke too, since I drove. :) I suppose the name "Sketchies" didn't take so well since it's actually been renamed. The dance floor was in fact somewhat sketchy.

Walking around campus is quite peaceful. Warm and sunny in the day, and lovely at night. For me there are layers upon layers of memories, for each period of life spent there. Being in a place one used to call home. I'm prone to more nostalgia than others... as a grad student, I walked around with the spirits and ghosts of my undergrad friends. Being physically in the same location, but feeling it a totally different place. It might as well have been on the other side of somewhere. The rate of new building and construction has actually made it a physically different place as well in a short time.