Wednesday, January 23, 2013


My week consists of 5-7 hours of TJ class between two teachers, 2 hours of yijin, 1 hour of orthopedic massage therapy, ~5 hours of driving, and going to the grocery store which is still like a field trip to me.  Basically, TJ is my life and I get a lot of my socializing and most of my people watching done there.  Thus the redundant TJ drama posts.  I shouldn't be blogging critically about people without their knowledge but oh well.  I generally reserve that for nutty or abusive behavior, the latter of which I think abdicates their right to privacy.  The former, okay, I am bad.

On Saturday after class, we were walking to the parking lot.  From left front to right back- Tiger, me, and Teacher (and E who wasn't really in the conversation).  Teacher was starting to ask if I wanted to go down to the next class in LA with them and hang out for lunch.  Tiger asked, "How about Sunday?" I don't remember exactly but obviously a day I would not be there.  Then she slowed down and positioned herself such that I had to move left or crash into her and so she was in the middle.  Then she turned around and walked back the other direction towards Teacher, like blockading him so they hung back and stopped.  "I wanted to talk to you about...."  Oooh, secret.  I couldn't hear the rest because I kept walking with E.

Sometimes when we're walking (from left to right- me, Tiger, and Teacher), Teacher sometimes moves around to the other side (Teacher, me, Tiger), which is okay, but to insert yourself in the middle of two people in the middle of determining plans is rude and weird.

Despite the jealous and possessive behaviors, Teacher seems to respect her the most.  I've only seen him tease her once and it was positive.  I've seen him looking at her admiringly.  They also seem to have a bond.  But I'm wondering about the married person having lunch alone with an opposite gender friend who displays jealous and possessive behavior.

Among the TJ people, M has lunch with A alone sometimes and there is clearly no issue.  I talk to her husband F for a while sometimes and there is clearly no issue.  I'd have to say that with most married or attached people I see interacting with opposite gender friends, there is clearly no issue.  But somehow with Teacher, it does seem like I have to tread carefully and not get pulled in like Tiger because I'm not sure he has no part in maintaining her jealousy and possessiveness despite that I think he's ultimately a committed person.

Then a replay of a similar conversation a few months ago.

"We can give you a ride."
"She has her car, doesn't she?"  (Um yes, but she knows my fatigue and driving that far don't mix well, and by the way, she carpools to our other class.)
"You can carpool down and Tiger can give you a ride back."
"I can give her a ride."
"Oh but you don't live down here."
"You can sit in my car...."
"I didn't bring any food."
"We can go get lunch after."
"Oh but I'm hungry now."
"Okay, next week?"
"Uh... I can't do next week."
"How about the week after?"

Last Sunday after class, he went up to a group and asked, "Hey, are you guys going to yum cha?"  Then as I was walking to the parking lot with Tiger, Ir, and D, he called after us, "Are you guys going to yum cha?"  He seemed to want to hang out.  That was the first time I've heard him mentioned lunch.  I guess I'm moving into the friend zone.