Friday, September 30, 2005


Still running... seems like I'm becoming more like women, more emotional.

The book I was reading talked about different energies, masculine and feminine. It surely is confusing for women working in male-dominated fields. To try to be competitive, assertive, and aggressive at work, for survival, and then switch to the feminine way of feeling, passive, and following. Switching on a daily basis is tough, sometimes mix up one with the other. My natural state for dancing is definitely following, and dancing is a metaphor for life.

So the theory goes, that in these modern times, men and women are are adopting more and more of the opposite-gendered energies, and thus more able to remain single (or more unable to maintain a relationship). Because they are more whole and balanced already, and in a relationship they would compete.

Anyway, so it seems that highly-educated and working women have been taught to live like men in a man's world, but this is not doing much good for them in terms of relationships. (So if we don't want to remain single, we need to go through retraining. ;) Guess I should go dancing more. Well, this book was more serious. :) )

In the end, which would we choose? Just like, my friend has talked about the fact that they can't afford to have kids here, and contemplated remaining childless, so that she can stay here. Going against her nature out of necessity of the environment. Although she really loves this place, and is one who is not easily able to live in less nice environments. The unfortunate state where choosing is difficult because of not being able to live without either. I hope they find a solution.

I on the other hand seem to be the opposite. To be able to live and be happy in any situation. I can afford to live here, yet I could be just as happy living in a grass hut on another continent (as long as there are no large wild animals and I have my Internet ;) hehe). More seriously, in the general sense as well. Maybe that makes me too independent... when really I don't want to have to be completely.

So I was supposed to try to take a nap, because I am exhausted, before going out to the Sketchies bar in a bit, but I couldn't fall asleep.