Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Too Many Double Meanings

Soon after I arrived at the TJ workshop, I got the impression that Tiger didn't look too happy when she saw me but I tried to give her a friendly hi.  After the first session of XJYL, I was looking at some handouts for the next SR session, standing a few feet in front of Teacher, and Tiger sort of went up close to him with what seemed to me a slightly flirtatious gesture and slightly high-pitched voice which I picked up as seeming like worried jealousy.  I came into the workshop assuming my new teacher was married because of his age but these various interactions made me think otherwise.  Otherwise, there are other issues at hand.  Anyway, I turned away slightly and buried my head in my paper a bit more, then decided to walk away and leave them to whatever thing was going on.  Like, don't worry, girl, you can have him!

The next morning, when we started the first PH session, Teacher called me up to the front first.  Doing PH with the teacher serves as both instruction for me and demo for everyone else.  For a newbie, I was being used for a lot of demos.  "See, I do all these little tests on her."  I didn't really notice.  I just follow like dancing and it's all part of the flow.  "What was the test?"  Something about keeping the elbow down.  That partly comes from social dance as well where keeping the elbow down helps keep your arm from being yanked off by a bad lead.  Same idea here.

Next, we all rotated around and I did double hand PH with most of the other women, several of whom were also teachers.  At one point, I was doing PH with V, I think, and K and Ir were side by side with us.  I heard a little commotion off on the edge of the group where Teacher and Tiger were P-ing Hs.  Something, something... and a very loud "Huh?!  Maybe you stiff and hard today!!" that everybody heard.  Uh... what??  I turned my head slightly.  For a second, I thought, was she saying he was stiff and hard for her...?  Then I realized there was a big chance it had something to do with me.  Everyone was quiet.  I think I had a look of bewilderment and had frozen in PH.  The middle aged ladies were quiet.  Then, after a few moments, K said in a firm corrective tone, "No... he said... you are stiff and hard today."  So my mind finally caught up with my hearing and realized the outburst had followed the question, "Why are you all stiff and hard today?"  In PH, you want to be soft and light.  When I pushed with Tiger the previous Saturday, she had been very light.

Later, we switched partners again and Tiger said, "I'll do it with M," not looking too happy but I smiled cheerfully.  Despite her being upset about who knows what, she was a good teacher.  I have to give her credit for not directing the upset at me.  I asked her about tango and it lightened the mood.  Tiger had just been saying that we had to check that we were not pushing on autopilot, moving back and forth without actually being pushed.  I said that's like in tango or other social dances when the follow shouldn't move ahead of the lead.  We had a laugh about social dance being like a cooperative PH, instead of trying to push each other off balance, you can help each other remain in balance.  She said in a high pitched voice to Teacher across the way, "She's taking Argentine tango too!"  Teacher seemed kind of amused and came over to watch us.  Tiger wanted to try some tango partnering and set up to lead.  I put my hands on her in waltz position, apparently, not so much in tango position.  The "energy" was flowing between us.  I was pretty relaxed and listening for her lead.  I guess she was still upset inside.  She was feeling me and I was feeling her.  The lead never came.  She kind of just shifted the teensiest tiniest bit this way and that way.  What was she feeling from me?  I was trying out a tango class at my local community college and when the tango teacher danced with me a little, he said he could tell right away that I was a social dancer and could feel the connection.  We danced a little and he said, "Beautiful."

Back to TJ... then there was some inside joke about being punched in the stomach.  I looked at Teacher and asked, "What... did you punch her in the stomach??"  I could feel my eyes were big and mouth was open.  He looked at me, surprised, matching my big eyes and open mouth and, I guess you could say, innocent expression.  The big clear eyes kind of communicated that I knew he would never punch her or any girl in the stomach even in PH, and his back to me that he could tell I didn't think he would, but that's just where the conversation was going with me not knowing the inside joke.  Tiger didn't say anything at this point and I got the feeling that maybe yes, she had been "punched in the stomach" emotionally.  If there were a triangle, I'd probably be more likely to side with the "other woman" since if I were actually in a triangle, how he treats the other woman is likely how he would treat me.  Later, she explained that the "being punched in the stomach" had to do with how to move backwards in tango and PH, concaving at the waist so as not to lean back, I think.

After lunch, back at the park, Teacher talked for a while, giving me a chance to sit on the grass and rest.  I didn't decide until last minute whether to do the last session since this was way beyond the amount of activity I had been able to do up until then.  Maybe I absorbed some of Tiger's high pitched voice when I said I didn't know if I would be able to drive back after this.  Teacher said sort of teasingly or mockingly, "Oh, well, maybe you can follow me home, drive slowly behind me, and I can keep an eye on you."  I rolled my eyes and said that I was going to rest first before driving home.  K, the older lady student-teacher who had been keeping things in line and seemed to know him well said, "You better watch out Teacher's driving."