Wednesday, December 27, 2006


If you have a normal or relatively normal brain, it's probably impossible to imagine what it's like when a brain goes haywire. Probably the hardest thing to get through, among the multitude of symptoms I have, is the wacked-out brain stuff. I keep trying to explain to the doctor that one can actually feel the difference between when psychiatric symptoms are physiological or psychological in origin. Of course, they tend not to believe so, because any time they can't see or figure out the physical cause of a problem, they dump it into the psychological or psychosomatic category. I'll have more to say about this and medical testing later. At this point, I'd say that things that actually have a psychological basis are easier to deal with, because there is actually something you can work on to fix, aside from taking a drug.

Aside from the weird excruciatingly painful anxiety panic type feelings that come out of nowhere, some depression, I can also now proudly claim to have been psychotic and briefly taken anti-psychotic medication often used for schizophrenia patients. Anyway, I'm now more able to feel for the mentally ill, including those who are suicidal, homeless, and criminals.

So the voice that occasionally deranged inside my head actually sounds like the hobbit creature, I realized. And then I realized he actually has voices that fight in his mind too. Then I came across this:

A Precious Case from Middle Earth

Anyway, I think the frequency, length, and quality of my blogging will correlate with how well I'm doing. This is 5-10%. I could have more to say, but I'd probably wear myself out.